that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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