Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
