My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
