Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
