Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
