that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
