the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Found your dick twin last night
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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