strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
