eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
