Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
