I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up under a house in Key West
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