that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
