Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
