I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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