Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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