We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
