I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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