dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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