New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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