I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize