How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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