she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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