Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
