I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
