I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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