he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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