textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
