when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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