Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
