yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
