I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
