What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize