Redeem this text for a blowjob
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I want to fling myself into the sun
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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