Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
