I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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