i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
