I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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