dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
