Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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