Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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