Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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