38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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