yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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