THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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