i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I bet he comes in French.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
