Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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