i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
