You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
