i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
