i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
50% drunk capacity currently
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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