I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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