i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
