no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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