your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
