i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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