If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
