He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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