garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
