remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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