remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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