I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
