Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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