I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
