the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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