question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
