The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
