Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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