you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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